Alleged Literature >> pdc >> how-tall-are-you

How tall are you?

Have you ever wondered whether you are tall or not? After all, everyone knows how in most American presidential elections are won by the taller candidate—and you never know when being elected president might come in handy.

Questions

1. You are carefully reaching for the cookie jar. Are you:

  1. Standing on a box?
  2. Reaching for the top shelf?
  3. Trying to avoid banging in to the light fixture?

2. What part of the face do you notice first in other people?

  1. Their chin
  2. Their eyes
  3. Their hair

3. To change a light bulb you need:

  1. A friend to change the light bulb for you.
  2. A chair.
  3. A light bulb.

4. You are in bed and your feet are cold. Why?

  1. Someone has stolen the blankets.
  2. You have no carpets and you only just got into bed.
  3. Your duvet does not reach as far as your feet.

5. When you are sleeping at a friend’s place...

  1. You sleep comfortably on the sofa
  2. You curl up on the sofa
  3. You put the sofa cushions down on the floor.

6. You could swap clothes with:

  1. Dec
  2. Ant
  3. Cat

7. As a child you were fed

  1. Twigs and leaves
  2. Mainly potatoes
  3. Milk and meat

8. When shopping for clothes, ‘petite’ means

  1. Baggy
  2. Less leggy than the regular stuff
  3. ‘Small’ in French

9. Shoes that fit you are...

  1. Brightly coloured and VAT-free.
  2. More expensive than you might think.
  3. Not available in the style you wanted.

10. In your dressing gown you resemble:

  1. Annie in Phantom Menace
  2. Luke in Star Wars: A New Hope
  3. Anakin’s ghost in Return of the Jedi

Results

Mostly As: You are so tiny that people need to hold you up to feed the parking meter. Well, maybe not that small. But definitely not tall.

Mostly Bs: You split the difference bewtween munchkin and beanpole, elegantly pursuing that middle-of-of-the-road, not particularly tall or short route.

Mostly Cs: Your future lies in a career fetching things from tall shelves and making jokes about the weather ‘up there’, when in reality you dread the rain because you fear being blinded by other people’s careless umbrellas.

Stickers

Cut and paste the HTML code below to record the result of your taking of the How Tall are You test!

Yes! I am tiny!

<a href="http://www.alleged.demon.co.uk/pdc/how-tall-are-you/"><object data="http://www.alleged.demon.co.uk/pdc/how-tall-are-you/yes-tiny.svg" type="image/svg+xml" width="63" height="53"> <img src="http://www.alleged.demon.co.uk/pdc/how-tall-are-you/yes-tiny.png" width="63" height="53" title="According to the How Tall Are You test, I am tiny!" alt="Yes! I am tiny!" border="0" /> </object></a>

Pah! Who needs tall?

<a href="http://www.alleged.demon.co.uk/pdc/how-tall-are-you/"><object data="http://www.alleged.demon.co.uk/pdc/how-tall-are-you/yes-medium.svg" type="image/svg+xml" width="63" height="53"> <img src="http://www.alleged.demon.co.uk/pdc/how-tall-are-you/yes-medium.png" width="63" height="53" title="According to the How Tall are You test, I'm neither tiny nor tall" alt="Pah! Who needs tall?" border="0" /> </object></a>

Yes! I am TALL!

<a href="http://www.alleged.demon.co.uk/pdc/how-tall-are-you/"><object data="http://www.alleged.demon.co.uk/pdc/how-tall-are-you/yes-tall.svg" type="image/svg+xml" width="63" height="53"> <img src="http://www.alleged.demon.co.uk/pdc/how-tall-are-you/yes-tall.png" width="63" height="53" title="According tp the How Tall are You test, I am tall!" alt="Yes! I am TALL!" border="0" /> </object></a>

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